I think that you should visit psychiatric and there are a good pills hat will help you. So go to doctor soon before your problem became more bigger.
PILLS are usually NOT the answer, pcelik - they only dull the brain on all levels, masking nearly every thought. Meditation, diet, and not blaming one's self are usually better paths to renewed enlightenment. Pills are prescribed far too often without working with someone one-on-one to properly diagnose and treat any psychosis. Billy is not delusional; he is being blocked. In the past he has been a very strong healer - I know, because he helped heal me three years ago, and he did it from a distance. The closer we each get to enlightenment, the more negative obstructionists endeavor to mitigate our abilities to continue on the proper path meant singularly for each of us.