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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:02 pm 
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B.L. I only speak for myself and it has been through the xperiances in my life and the consequences of my actions that I am only able to fully live my life to its fullest by living in the moment, and I rally mean in the physical moment from minute to minute.If ypu can imagine by closing your eyes and listening and letting go of all the outside noise and clutter, letting go of every preconcieved notion you may harbor and be open to anything new, you may find that the world around you is a little different than what you believed it to be. The smells such as fresh cut grass in the summertime which I used to take for granted and not truly experiencing the smell and the long lost memories massociated with that smell. See I had forgotten those things by letting my life go by without really living it. I am finding it hard to put into words what I mean, I do not mean in any way that you or anyone else is living their lives wrong no thats not at all what I am trying to say. Everyone lives theor lives according to how they wish to live it. No one can dictate how we live our lives, well except we all understand we cannot do whatever we want to there are limits and boundrys, we have to live within the laws of our country and state but I am speaking more on our innerselves and the decisions we make each day as to how and what we are going to do.Are we products of our environment? to some extent , yes we are we cannot change the fact for instance if we grew up in a house with strict moral codes that we would also to some extent raise our own children with strict moral codes there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part I believe the apple does not fall far from the tree. My whole point is this; When I found out I had a terminal disease, my life changed dramatically. I no longer thought I had all the time in thr world to get my act together or to do the things I put off in life thinking I would find time in the future to do them, in other words I no longer had the option to take the things in life that many of us take for granted, so I had 2 choices , I could just say the hell with everything and party till I dropped or I could sart living my life in a different way. I know this sounds corny but had had to relearn how to live my life so that I could squeeze every second from it and make it count for something, now do I do this every second of every day? no of course not if I could do that then I could probably cure myself and its not as easy or simple as it sounds to live in the moment it takes a lot of practice, I had to unlearn a lot of things I knowq this probably makes no sense to you I apologise for not being able to really explain what I mean, but when you said you could not let go of things you thought to be true or look at things for what they truly are it made me think of how I used to be and by no means is it in any way wrong or bad its just you being yopu and all I am saying is I found a whole new world when faced with my mortality, I am no different from you or anyone else and I will admit I have done many things in life I wish I could take back but the truth is I cannot take them back, all I can do is ask for forgivness and move on, believe me I was no alter boy, but people change life changes what i may have thoght was a good idea yesterday may be a bad idea today after I slept on it. OK I am Rambling on now so I will stop. All I meant was when I took the time to slow down and see things for what they are, I am able to appreciate the little things in life I used to take for granted and oddness to one may be natural to another thanks for listening joey978

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:54 pm 
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Such GOOD advice... Being ill, as I have been for the past couple of years, I (too!) have had to alter the way I look at life along with how I live it. Hopefully, the surgery I'm having next week will (after I heal) make a GREAT difference in how much more life I will be able to enjoy. But I've had to give so much daily control over to my partner... I could NEVER have done that two years ago. I have learned that there is a whole different man inside that aging body of his--one who, when finds he's needed, loves me enough to step up and take charge. He may not do things the way I did, but he does them, and to the best of his abilities. And he never complains, although I know the added responsibilities for someone in his mid-70s (when he's been spoiled and never had to do manual labor, all his life) can't possibly be easy.

He was showing me the muscles in his biceps, last night... something he's never ever had before in his life! If he were younger, he'd be proud of them. As it is, right now he's just astounded that it took him 75 years to get them. :mrgreen:

Life is to be appreciated. We don't know that when we're under 50, as a general rule. That's why youth is SO wasted on the young!

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 5:12 pm 
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How true that we don't stop to really live do we. It is so true that even taking the time to slow down enough to see what's in front of our faces is time we're not willing to invest in ourselves.

We're told that we're stressed out, tired, overburdened, and overwhelmed. So we visit the Doctor to treat the symptoms, and it artificially corrects and balances the biological end, then we are left feeling empty. Gone are the bad feelings wearing us down, and replaced with a void that we are not prepared to fill with anything.

We have learned to treat symptoms so that we don't sink further into depression and anxiety, whether by Rx or artificial means, yet, the other side of the coin is somehow supposed to allow us to be fullfilled, rested, energetic and happy. But I don't think most see that as an opportunity. Rather it is changing storm clouds into grey skies; there is still no sunshine.

It is the same with addiction. Once the physical ties have been cut, somehow people are supposed to magically know how to live their lives, because the addiction is what caused the symptoms in the first place. That philosophy still prevails today, and that poor horse is getting very tired of being behind the cart.

I was treated fairly recently for post traumatic stress. I had all the symptoms, but even with knowing about PTSD, I didn't connect the dots- with myself. I am taking medication for the symptoms, but never at any time was there consideration to what happens when the sky starts to clear. It is a very empty feeling to know there is unfinished business, even feeling physically better, and that cloudy day just won't let the sun through.

But, opportunities present themselves as you've said. Facing mortality, or survival, or certain predictable events, are life changing. THAT is an opportunity. You, my dear Joey, have seized upon that opportunity and have learned how to live your life to the fullest. It is music to my ears, and puts a smile on my face, to think of you so enjoying the simplest of life's pleasures.

The ability to move beyond limitations, and make changes that you were capable of making all along, but like the rest of us, just never fully realized.

I can see where a person with yourself, with that kind of insight, will live a hundred times more fully because you were smart enough to know that life doesn't have endless opportunities to start living. Where you have given this gift to yourself, others may never have it, and find themselves dead tomorrow getting hit by a bus walking across the street to their office downtown.

Give it all you've got Joey, the way you are living your life, is an inspiration to us all.

Tim

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 5:20 pm 
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We are certainly in sinc here my dear Tweaked!

Just as I hit 'submit', your post was there.

I am so happy that you are having surgery next week. That sounds odd I know, but you know what I mean. It is the end of a long, frustrating journey to address an issue that was stopping you from living your life the way you normally do- full-tilt, 100% of the time.

I think that must feel like getting on your bike, and being ready to have a good 5k ride, and realizing you have two flat tires! All the energy is there and ready to go, but until you get those tires fixed, you ain't goin' anywhere! lol

Howard with muscles huh? Can you post a pic? I'd like to pass them on to certain individuals to prove that men can indeed, have muscles. lol

Tim

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:34 pm 
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I'm not sure Howie will allow me to take a photo of his muscles... :mrgreen: But if the opportunity PRESENTS itself, I'll see what I can do!

You know, I was thinking about PTSD just the other day. We all go through it... when we lose a job, when we change jobs (even when it's a good change), when we move from one place to another, when one of our loved ones gets sick or tragically dies... yet it's always "just a part of Life's changes: get over it." No one really considers that PTSD affects all of us more than we've ever realized.

When 9-11 happened here, the country suffered MASS PTSD. Everyone handled it in a personal way--some went back to smoking, some began smoking who hadn't ever smoked. Some were glued to the TV for days, hoping for people to be found alive--of which there was less than a handful. Children were affected. Animals reacted to OUR stress...

Think about the tsunami that happened a couple of years ago, and the floods everywhere that have occurred. ALL those affected by natural and manmade calamities have PTSD. It's just not usually referred to as such. The displaced people, right now, from the hurricanes and such are suffering PTSD, yet I doubt that help for this anxiety has been made available to them.

Joey, I'm really proud of you. You turned your PTSD of learning you have a terminal disease into something courageous and constructive. This kind of awakening is something I wish for all of us who suffer losses, changes, tragedies, and disappointments. It's good that the helpful medications are available for those who need them, and it's good that some can overcome the PTSD without pharmaceuticals. When we understand ourselves, by taking time to pay attention to our own minds and bodies, we have a better chance of knowing the correct treatment to make ourselves better.

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:01 pm 
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Location: Dayton Washinton, Cameron Street
Hello all,

Sorry for my absence. It has been awhile, and so many things have happened, some of them super natural, and some of them not. Now to clarify a few things, I am not saying that way I know to be true and what I think is real cannot change for some reason, that would be silly. However what I am saying is that based on what I have seen and experienced in my life is one of the main components of what I believe and know to be true, and we all do that, which is quite normal.

I am by no means a product of my environment. The greatest conflict in my family at this point is that i turned out absolutely nothing like the rest of my family, and they cannot seem to understand what that means, and that it does not mean I am somehow wrong for not being just like them. I realise that is hard for some people to deal with, when the legitimately think way A and for some reasons the other person things in terms of way B.

I have nearly died so many time in my life that it is truly amazing to me that I am still alive here, but I am greatful for each and every moment I have. Every event no matter how minute has an important lesson in it. According to the Chaos theory, it could even be responsible for huge tremendous things in the future as the cosmos snow balls onto it into creation.

In the end my life can be defined by the following series of words. Loving someone, no matter how painful it may be, is always worth it, because we would not want someone to stop loving us no matter how difficult we are being. Having hope and a sense of justice is fine, so long as you are willing to try and perceive both sides of evert situation. Finally, there is something larger than we are out there, a positive force which many of us have encountered in one form or another. For some it is positive ET's, for others if Jehova, for some it is the Jedi Force. I call it God and it is a real living breathing force in my life, and it has never led me wrong, and has saved my rear many times, and believe int he power of his love, and the power of my own love to see good and wonderful things come from that love.

In the end, then I guess for me, to love and be sincere are the two most important concepts I have. Whatever else comes about as a result of those things is fine, because I can leave this plane of existence knowing I have done my best.

May light and Love surround you all, and shine into the dark places we all must walk.

Billy

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:37 pm 
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I think there is a distinction to be made between normal everyday life and life's trials and tribulations, and PTSD.

While one naturally has various degrees of severity, and the loss of a loved one is more emotionally trying than the loss of a job, it is a grieving process, and part of the human condition to experience the various degrees in any such situation.

Not being able to cope is a result of not properly processing, for whatever reason, the normal course of events for any number of reasons; depression, complications, unforseen consequences, financial hardships, etc. But generally speaking most civilized people face very trying times, and get through it one way or another.

PTSD is something quite different. An event that is invasive, violent, extremely personal, physically and/or emotionally, that is beyond normal life experiences, and normal life expectation of such experiences.

A person who witnesses an attempted murder experiences far more severe consequences than seeing two drunks at a bar in a fistfight, and far less than the person who was the target of the murder who suffered a bullet wound to his/her body. It is unexpected, unusual, terrifying, emotionally crippling, and extremely traumatic.

911 is a good example of mass PTSD, and even in an event that tragic, those that were nearest ground zero, the ones who were running covered in ash, or those that saw people jumping out of buildings, and the firefighters who dragged dead and dying out into the streets- that is most certainly fertile ground for PTS. Those living in the States, but far removed from the event, and witnessing events on their TV's, experience shock and horror, and distress as well, but it is not the same level of personal, invasive and debilitating paralysis that gripped those directly involved.

I think that the closer one is to an event that involves personal sacrifice, intentional or otherwise, by physical or emotional means, such as war, or victims of sexual abuse for example, are far more vunerable in coping with these types of events, because these are outside the normal life experiences that are generally shared by all humans.

Tim

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:04 pm 
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Hello BrightLightBilly!!!

It's good to see you stop in, and bring us up to date. I hope the studies are going well, and happy that things are relatively 'normal' at the moment at least! ;)

Keep in touch Billy,

Take care,

Tim

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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:22 pm 
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LOL, yes I agree, it is both nice for me to pop in, and as student of psychology I like the way Tim broke things down. IN places where beleif systems say that you use your wife for reproduction and little boys for sex, as is done in some middle eastern and other groups, since it is normal and commonplace, the little boys do not realize anything is wrong, and are not traumatized. In a place like the US where it is sick and wrong, and not common place they are traumatized.

Whether we agree with a specific event or not, point of view, commonality, and realative distance to the event (Both physical and mental) determine just how much of a jolt to the system it will produce.

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I am creating guided meditation CDs which are distributed for donation only. I am calling this Project Nitesh (Nitesh = Heartbeat of the Earth.) To submit ideas, or request CDs, please private message me, all will be replied to, and all are welcome.


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 Post subject: Re: Oddness
PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:58 am 
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Billy, I've missed you, Sweetheart. Take care of yourself, and come by often.

Tweaked

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