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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 5:44 pm 

Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:54 pm
Posts: 33
Location: outskirts of Boston Mass
Hi, joey48/alucard here. I just now was reading these posts on nde's and if you will bear with me I will tell you of one, Iv'e had two.As some of you know I am on a methadone clinic and had been a heroin addict since I was 15 I am now 48, so needless to say I have pretty much seen and done it all.When I was in high school I had a promising career in hockey and a scholorship to B.C. in Boston but I also was a pretty good musician. I decided to play in a band until college then try to make it to a career in the NHL. Along the way I got hooked on heroin and there went my career in hockey, so a musician it would be. By the time I was 17 I dropped out of school and everyone else in the band was like 25 or older. Anyway I don't want to make this a long story but I needed to give a little backround. When I was like 28 or so I was selling massive amounts of drugs and had more money than I knew what to do with it but all this time I had managed to keep my addiction hidden until the day came when I could no longer pull it off so I came clean with my family and wife and she gave me an ultimatum either quit that day which is impossible even if I had wanted to because you cannot quit heroin in one day the withdrawels are brutal and you could die so I tol;d everyone what they could do with their ultmatums and left my mom with a lot of money for my daughter and I moved out. After say a year I was so depressed but I had quit heroin and was on a methadone clinic and my life was pretty much normal for the first time in a lot of years but I was still so depressed I did not even speak to my family in over a year by now. On a beautiful sunday morning in the fall I walked into a restaraunt called dennys and looked around me and saw all these happy families all smiling and normal and just enjoying a sunday morning. I had plenty of money a nice car and apt. but the depression was so bad I rarely left my house except to go to the clinic and the library and for food which i never ate half the time. I remembere thinking this is it I cannot take it anymore so m,y grewat plan was to get 10 bags of heroin and eat 50 xanax2mgs and I thight I would just quietly go to sleep and never wake up. WRONG ANSWER, when you overdose you do not just go to sleep you foam at the mouth you have convulsions and everyother thing you can think of its a horrible way to die. Anyway someone found me and brought me to a hospital and I can remember hearing everything going on around me but i could not speak or open my eyes. I heard the doctor say thats it he is dead and i am like hey wait i'm not but i couldn't tell anyone and then I heard a nurse say ""dr. hit him once more with the paddles and i will give him another shot of adrenalin so he says ok I will amuse you and hit me with the paddles and I felt this needle going into my chest and the next thing I knew I was laying on a gurney with tubes everywhere and 4 pointed restraints. They saw I was awake and came over and this nurse had stayed with me all night and was the one who convinced the MD to try once more she handed me a copy of my death certificate that the doctor had filled out before he hit me again and told me to keep it and look at it if I thought about doing it again. My whole point is I heard everything going on around me but I never saw no bright lights or dead family or me floating above myself none of that but I do believe that nurse was my guardian angel because without her there I would have died. She alone saved my life. I believe we all have an angel or whatever you want to call it looking out for us until it is truly our time to pass on. joey48

Do not let your shadow catch you

PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 6:32 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:50 pm
Posts: 4426
Location: Near Toronto, Ontario Canada
What an amazing story of courage Joey. I think that had you been any closer to heaven than you were that night, NDE experience or not, you'd not be here today. The instinct of the nurse to try one more time- I wonder what inspired her to make that call. That is one of those things that you cannot help but think of divine intervention. It was not your time Joey and somehow she bridged the gap between 'here' and 'there', and that resulted in you coming back.

It is a shame that your wife gave you that ultimatum. Heroin addiction is not just something you can stop on a dime as you know very well from going through it yourself. But again, who's to say that things would have worked out anyway, we can go around that mulberry bush a thousand times with our regrets over the mistakes we make. Nobody among us can say they have not had regrets. Oh to turn back that clock!! ;)

I will never understand where people get the courage and resolve to turn their lives around, and live to tell about it, particularly with a heroin addiction. I'd say your character speaks for itself- not too many would have the fortitude to accomplish what you have.

Do you still write and play music? Did you ever have an opportunity to speak to the nurse again?


I have absolutely nothing clever to say......but I'm workin' on it.

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